Ok, but most everyone agrees that the Arab guy who told the Jewish woman he was Jewish in order to have sex with her was not actually guilty of rape and that it's ridiculous that he was convicted of it--so I'm not really sure that it's as black and white as all that. If that's not rape, neither is not disclosing that you're trans.

Most people do not disclose the many things that would make someone not sleep with them. That's a pretty good evolutionary tactic.