The reason this line of thinking is a problem is because it leads, as you acknowledged, to trans-bashing.
And really, what do you propose as an alternative? That it's NOT OK for a guy to be upset that he feels he was decieved into sex? That he should be fine with it, and that a professional satirist and provocateur should self-censor and pretend that he's fine with it too? That's just not smart or right or realistic.
I don't even think your argument against my point #1 makes sense from a strictly utilitarian point of view, even if you ignore the ethical implications which comprise my point #2. The way to eliminate transbashing and effect a cultural shift is not to have more transwomen fuck more unwitting straight guys. In fact, it's a great way to polarize popular opinion against transpeople on a grassroots level.
I guarantee you this, Jill. The average straight guy -- and even most of the not-so-average, fairly socially and sexual liberal straight guy -- that finds out that he unwittingly slept with a transwoman and liked it is not going to suddenly be OK with fucking transwomen. He will not be like a kid you tricked into eating and liking beets. He will, instead, feel betrayed, confused and upset -- maybe upset enough to throw up, maybe not -- and then he's going to be angry. Very, very angry, as only people who have had their sexual choice taken from then can be.
Think about all the guys that, if approached by a transwoman who tells them that she's a transwomen, would say either "no thanks, that's not my bag" or even "no, ew, get away!" and not proceed beat the living shit out of her. I think people are fundamentally good, and tolerant, and a lot of guys would have exactly that reaction. They might be amused, or disgusted, or indifferent, but not violent.
Now of those guys, how many would in fact beat the living shit out of her if she slept with them and then revealed her status?
Those are the folks whose support you are losing with your line of reasoning. Those are also an awful lot of transwomen getting bashed instead of just rebuffed.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2010-08-07 12:32 am (UTC)The reason this line of thinking is a problem is because it leads, as you acknowledged, to trans-bashing.
And really, what do you propose as an alternative? That it's NOT OK for a guy to be upset that he feels he was decieved into sex? That he should be fine with it, and that a professional satirist and provocateur should self-censor and pretend that he's fine with it too? That's just not smart or right or realistic.
I don't even think your argument against my point #1 makes sense from a strictly utilitarian point of view, even if you ignore the ethical implications which comprise my point #2. The way to eliminate transbashing and effect a cultural shift is not to have more transwomen fuck more unwitting straight guys. In fact, it's a great way to polarize popular opinion against transpeople on a grassroots level.
I guarantee you this, Jill. The average straight guy -- and even most of the not-so-average, fairly socially and sexual liberal straight guy -- that finds out that he unwittingly slept with a transwoman and liked it is not going to suddenly be OK with fucking transwomen. He will not be like a kid you tricked into eating and liking beets. He will, instead, feel betrayed, confused and upset -- maybe upset enough to throw up, maybe not -- and then he's going to be angry. Very, very angry, as only people who have had their sexual choice taken from then can be.
Think about all the guys that, if approached by a transwoman who tells them that she's a transwomen, would say either "no thanks, that's not my bag" or even "no, ew, get away!" and not proceed beat the living shit out of her. I think people are fundamentally good, and tolerant, and a lot of guys would have exactly that reaction. They might be amused, or disgusted, or indifferent, but not violent.
Now of those guys, how many would in fact beat the living shit out of her if she slept with them and then revealed her status?
Those are the folks whose support you are losing with your line of reasoning. Those are also an awful lot of transwomen getting bashed instead of just rebuffed.