There is no way to know if the cool liberal-seeming person you're attracted to is going to have a freak out. Even if they profess opinions that trans people are all good, they may still freak out. Every time you come out as trans, you're not only risking that this person might react badly, you're risking that they might tell someone else (out of spite, out of confusion and a need to talk it over, out of gossip, as a "well I'm dating a trans person!" ally credential, for all kinds of reasons). If it becomes in any way public knowledge, it can make you basically unemployable, it can make it hard to find places to live, it can turn people against you. You can be completely confident that there won't be bad consequences to telling someone and be flat out wrong. There's no way to tell.
Also, not all trans people are part of trans communities or even have the internet. So, those people don't deserve to have relationships if they're concerned about their personal safety?
There's a whole world between knowing someone will be upset (which personally I wouldn't want to shag someone if I knew they'd be that hateful towards me) and knowing someone won't be, and 99% of cases fall into that.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2010-08-07 11:03 pm (UTC)Also, not all trans people are part of trans communities or even have the internet. So, those people don't deserve to have relationships if they're concerned about their personal safety?
There's a whole world between knowing someone will be upset (which personally I wouldn't want to shag someone if I knew they'd be that hateful towards me) and knowing someone won't be, and 99% of cases fall into that.