(no subject)

I keep a candy cane hanging from a hook on my cubicle wall, and when people ask me what it's for I say "exigent circumstances" and then they look at me as if I said something strange. Occasionally they'll laugh nervously, especially when I tell them how I got it*.

Today, someone was all out of lozenges for their irritated throat, and the candy cane fulfilled its grim purpose. Who's laughing now, people? WHO'S LAUGHING NOW???

*It's a trophy from when I killed and ate this weird fat man that I found on my roof last winter.