People allowed in the JLA

[yagathai]

stegoking posted his ideal JLA lineup in an earlier entry in my LJ, and of course it's ludicrous. Here's who belongs and doesn't belong in the JLA:

OK, first of all, you cannot have the entire DC hero population in the JLA. Sorry, Stego. It's got to be, like, 8 or 9 heroes tops.

Next, some rules:

No New Gods.
No Teen Titans, current or former.
Nobody that isn't tough enough to take a hit from, say, a speeding truck (except Batman).
Nobody that has had sex with Dick Grayson (except Batman).
Nobody whose secret identity isn't old enough to have pubes yet.
Nobody with a "boob window" in their costume.
Nobody that belongs in the JSA, like Ollie Queen or Dinah.
No robots.
Nobody with "tornado powers".
No robots with "tornado powers".
Nobody with their head on fire.
Nobody with a stupid haircut.
Nobody who may detonate at any moment and need a containment suit to keep them from killing their loved ones.
No conservative Republicans, especially black ones.

Which leaves:

Superman (Clark Kent)
Wonder Woman (Diana Prince)
Batman (Bruce Wayne)
Martian Manhunter
Green Lantern (Jordan or Stewart, but NOT Rayner or Gardner)
Flash (Barry or Wally)
Aquaman (Arthur Curry)

To fill the eighth slot I'd be ok with The Atom (I guess the white one, since the assholes killed off the Asian guy), Zatanna, Plastic Man or (in a real stretch) Dr. Light.

Comments

[saltedpin.livejournal.com]

My lineup will always include Scott Free (because he's fun to mock) and Barda (because she is awesome and also hott), so I must poo-poo your no New Gods.

On the other hand, John Stewart is really the only Green Lantern I want to see these days, so yay to that. Gardner's haircut is just too stupid to go on appearing in print.

[yendi]

But Wally is a former TItan.

I cut my teeth on the Watchtower JLA, and loved the Giffen one, so I'd have some of the other folks in my league, but none of the folks you list bother me.

[yagathai.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Wally's inclusion depends solely on whether or not Barry's alive or dead again. The JLA needs a speedster, and who else would they draft?

[stegoking.livejournal.com]

My team is the shit, and yours sucks.

The JLA sucks without Power Girl.

[cynic51.livejournal.com]

Why does Queen belong in JSA?

[stegoking.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this is where his manifesto really falls apart. Green Arrow has not always been a member of the JLA, it is true, but EXACTLY like Captain America joining the Avengers, GA joined the JLA in issue 4 of series one. (Way back in 1961)

Green Arrow is JLA.

And so is Captain Atom, Firestorm, Red Tornado, Black Canary, Captain Marvel, and the Hawks.

[yagathai.livejournal.com]

Yeah, and I think that was two issues before he used a boxing glove arrow to knock out a bank robber, and then a mistletoe arrow to force two of the robbers to kiss to distract them before knocking them out. Yes, Ollie and Dinah were JLA at one point, but that doesn't meant they belong in it now.

I might give you the Hawks, though.

[yagathai.livejournal.com]

Dude. Boxing glove arrow.

[after-nightfall.livejournal.com]

For a moment there, my brain flashed to the one thing the acronym JLA is used in this part of the Balkans - the Yugoslavian National Army (Jugoslovanska Ljudska Armada). That was some double-take...

[ayrdaomei.livejournal.com]

Zatanna could take a hit from a speeding truck? Isn't she just a spellcaster?

[yagathai.livejournal.com]

With her magic she could.

[regina-of-york.livejournal.com]

This makes me even more sad that you missed Boskone. I didn't learn anything new along the lines of the Hulk conversation from last year, lol.

[kylecassidy.livejournal.com]

it's posts like this that make me wish i hadn't wasted my youth not reading comic books.