(no subject)

[yagathai]

1) Fuck you, Randall Munroe. And I mean that even more than I did the last time. Goddamn it! Sad robots get me right in the breadbasket, every single fucking time.

2) The movie Legion has demonic possession, killer children, machine guns and a giant angry dude wearing armor and wielding a two-handed bladed mace with a spinning head and a two-foot spike that shoots out of the tip. They crucified a man upside down and (SPOILER ALERT) pumped him so full of acid that he exploded! There was a gothed-up foulmouthed jailbait character wearing boots and a miniskirt and shooting guns! Sounds great, right? And yet despite that, the damn movie somehow managed to suck and blow at the same time. It was terrible. I just don't understand it. There was a rocket launcher and everything!

Comments

[arya.livejournal.com]

But it sounds awesome from everything you describe! And the trailer looked hilarious! (as in "I want to see, even if not for the intended reasons" kind of way)

[yagathai.livejournal.com]

I know! I don't have an explanation either.

[serista.livejournal.com]

I loved that XKCD!

[celestinenox]

Legion tries to be Terminator, except it's not, and Charlie is no Sarah Connor (she's a jerk, really), and it didn't explain why her baby is the Hope for Humanity, or what he's gonna have to do to save humanity against themselves possessed by angels that inexplicably act in every way like demons. I maintain this was intended to be the first of at least two movies, possibly a trilogy, but it sucks so bad the next movie will never be approved. I must believe this because to think this plothole filled nonsense was meant to be one movie would drive me out of my mind.

But other than that, it was awesome! Best part is not even really a spoiler because it's in the previews (or at least heavily implied in previews) and is when grandma BITES OFF THE DUDE'S FACE. Or his throat, whatever. Still. AWESOME.

[vis-major.livejournal.com]

I'll admit it... that xkcd made me tear up a bit.

[addienfaemne.livejournal.com]

That XKCD makes me REALLY SAD. Why? It's a robot. Why do I feel so sorry for it?

[yagathai.livejournal.com]

I'm 99% certain that they re-shot the original ending. I think the original ending was M is killed by G, G is killed by the gas explosion and Charlie and Jeep ride off into the sunset with the baby. They added the rest of the stuff after that because the original ending was a "downer" and probably tested poorly in focus groups. Would explain the delay in releasing the film, too.

Personally, I think the way that the movie makes the most sense is if M was deluded, G was right and the baby is actually the antichrist.

[celestinenox]

G has some sad, sad eyes and it's just lie "Dude... dude. Seriously. Get a spine, k?" I kinda wish M had said something along those lines to him, because G was really kinda pathetic.

Also, the whole movie made God out to be petty and cruel in a really fickle, absent-minded sort of way. Just... the conversations between M and G about what God does or doesn't want, and then at the end when M... yeah. Just... wow. I don't know how much of a religious message this movie is supposed to have, but if it's supposed to have any kind of message at all... I, um, don't think they said what they think they said.

And... Jeep? My friend and I kept saying to each other "Are they saying Jeep? Is this guy's name Jeep??"

I like your interpretation. :D

Still do not understand why angel-possessed people are basically demons.

[redstapler.livejournal.com]

Your review of Legion is both hilarious and on-point.

I saw it with some friends, and we had pretty much the same reaction.

"Why does this movie suck? It has all the elements of not-suck. But it sucks. Whaaaaaaaaa?"

[dulcinbradbury.livejournal.com]

I blame a childhood in which I loved the movies Short Circuit & *batteries not included.

[kylecassidy.livejournal.com]

i saw the angel on the poster and i was like "this is going to rock" then i saw the machine gun and i was like "this is going to be so stupid".

[dje2004.livejournal.com]

Legion straddled the line between so bad it's good and so bad it's just bad. I've been meaning to write a review of it myself.

Sad robots? Seriously? You made me think of this commercial.

On the Scale of Bad

[petitbout.livejournal.com]

How was Legion compared to Gabriel? When I was seeing only billboards I thought they were going to be virtually the same movie.

I am, of course, sorry to hear that Paul Bettany played in a bad film. :(

Re: On the Scale of Bad

[yagathai.livejournal.com]

Gabriel is on my list, but I haven't seen it yet.

[harrytheheir.livejournal.com]

I think they wasted most of their second act on bullshit "character" "development" scenes--I'm thinking of the Michael-Jeep "I got inspired from watching you" conversation, among others--which were both ineffective in actually developing character AND killed the momentum in between angel fights. If it hadn't dragged so much, it would have been a lot better.

[yagathai.livejournal.com]

The obviously-reshot-after-the-original-ending-tested-badly ending didn't help either, certainly.

Plus... this is the apocalypse and the best God can do is a hundred or so random possessed guys, none of whom have guns, and none of whom is, I dunno, a pilot?

[harrytheheir.livejournal.com]

Sure. But if the movie was paced better, I doubt that people would give a shit about the plausibility of a movie where angels have bullet-proof wings.

[yagathai.livejournal.com]

Point.