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[personal profile] yagathai
People have this strange idea that customer service is something that anyone can do. I guess in a sense anyone can do it, in the same way that anyone can dig a ditch. But of course not everyone can dig a ditch, let alone dig a ditch, and not everyone can do a customer service job -- let alone do it well. It's a skill, and a talent, and rarer than many people think.

Nevertheless, just like most anyone can grasp the basics of ditch-digging (hold this end of shovel, insert other end of shovel into earth, move shovelful of earth, repeat), just about everyone should be able to grasp the first principle of customer service:

DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE.

Now believe me I understand how much fun being an asshole can be. Being an asshole is one of my primary forms of recreation, in fact. And sometimes people make it very hard for you not to be an asshole to them. Nevertheless, if you're in a customer service position, if people are giving you money in exchange for your goods or services, the rule remains. No matter how hard it is, you must always remember:

DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE.

I just don't get why some people can't figure that one out. Because as I see it, there are exactly three acceptable answers to Nick's question:

1) "I'm very sorry. I wish I could help, but our policies prevent me from doing that, and here's why" ... followed by a reasonable explanation for why his very simple request could not be accommodated.

2) "Let me check on that for you and get back to you when I've found an answer", followed by a subsequent communication featuring either answer 1 or answer 3.

3) "Sure thing, Nick. Here you go." Because, as Nick points out, it's the work of maybe a couple of minutes to fulfil his request, and that's if you're out of coffee.

You see this kind of thing a lot everywhere, but for some reasons it seems especially concentrated when it comes to the people that run fan conventions. Not all the people of course, and not all the conventions, but often enough that it's a noticeable trend -- and frankly, there's no excuse. Even if the people running a convention don't possess the necessary "don't be an asshole" skillset, and even if their services are indispensable because only their brobdingnagian brains can perform such feats of combinatorics that even our primitive electric calculating machines cannot compare, those people should not be anywhere near the paying customers. All they need to do is find someone that has that valuable non-asshole skillset and put that person between them and the public.

Everyone in our community would get along so much better if they did that.

Re: DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE.

Date: 2010-08-21 01:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eefster.livejournal.com
Or a stamp. I have visions of just randomly stamping it on peoples' foreheads. Probably as they're leaning in to get a good look at someone's ... "badge" or "ribbons", which is why they'd need the "don't be an asshole" stamp in the first place.

Re: DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE.

Date: 2010-08-21 01:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yagathai.livejournal.com
You have excellent ribbons, Eef. Nothing to be ashamed of.

Re: DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE.

Date: 2010-08-21 01:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] regina-of-york.livejournal.com
I like where you're going with this!

Re: DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE.

Date: 2010-08-21 10:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xraytheenforcer.livejournal.com
I like what you have to say and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Re: DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE.

Date: 2010-08-21 11:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misunderstruck.livejournal.com
Would the stamp be printed backwards so the stampee could get an easily readable reminder every time he or she looked in a mirror?

Re: DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE.

Date: 2010-08-21 12:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eefster.livejournal.com
I hadn't thought of that, but it is an excellent refinement of the basic idea.

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