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Heh. In a move that's certain to make many libertarians' heads explode, Rush is accusing Rand Paul of stealing their intellectual property.

Oh man. That's hilarious!

Maligning Rush in any fashion in this LJ is strictly prohibited, BTW.

ETA: Rush as in the greatest band in the history of ever, people, not the malignant blowhard Limbaugh.

Another day, another hookworm

How am I spending my Thursday night?

Hey, it's air-conditioned. Plus the lecturer is signing his book afterwards.

Quotable quotes from the lecturer

On a parasite that gestates inside the human lungs: "I like to think of [the worm babies] as nursing on the inside of the chest, instead of the outside."

"Besides the dysentery, I didn't have any symptoms. I was upset, though, because I realized that I had eaten feces."

This guy talks more about his daughter's anus than anyone I have ever seen, with the possible exception of Bob Saget.

"I don't know how a story about gefilte fish can be racist or sexist, but my wife thinks it is, so I won't read those parts to you."

"To prove that I'm not racist, let me tell you another story. I call this one 'The Defecating Scandinavian'."

More quotes

This guy is the nicest slightly senile Jewish grandfather you've ever had. Most of the time I don't think he's trying to be funny.

"So you can see how this is the only anti-semitic [species of] tapeworm."

"Imagine if you were living inside someone's intestine. You could get something in your eye."

"You might see these beautiful [worms] that fall out of a dog's anus and crawl away. This freaks some people out."

Oh, amusing stories of 1950's animal testing, when you could catch strays and do pretty much whatever you want to them.

Hah! He just called someone an "Oriental".

Yet more!

"Those of you that have become nauseous can at this point pick up your purses... and use them."

This guy is verging into Grandpa Simpson territory here. Seriously. "Our main hobbies back in Brooklyn were shooting cats and peeping in through windows... Back then everyone in Brooklyn was named either Herbie or Eugene."

After a long and rambling story about sexual euphemisms in 1940's Brooklyn ("watching the submarine races" meant "fornicating in a Desoto or Plymouth"): "Now this is the part where you ask me the obvious question." *awkward silence* "Correct. How could Herbie have been infected by a seagull schistosome?"

"There is this thing my wife and I do in bed. It's called pillow talk."

"A question I am often asked is 'how does someone - not me - get rid of crab lice?' My answer is a simple four step process. One, shave a one-inch strip down the middle of the pubic hair. Two, soak one side of the hair in kerosene. Three, light it. Four, when the crabs flee the burning hair to the other side and cross the bald strip, stab them with an ice pick."

OMG he is reading us a list of forty years worth of alliterative euphemisms for crabs. "Vagina vampires... labia locusts... nut nits... prostitute prizes... gonad gophers... rug rats..."

"Cooter? I do not recognize that term. Someone once told me what 'poon' meant, but I did not believe them. In Vietnam, there was a similar term for sexual intercourse that the soldiers used, though."

"Giardia, under a microscope... looks like a cute little elf's face."