On Mother's Day

[yagathai]

You can thank xraytheenforcer and misunderstruck for inspiring this one. x-posted to Ran's board. I'll look it over and edit it later on tonight, but here's my first draft:

So I know everyone has been brainwashed into loving Mother's Day, and I want to stress that this rant is in no way a condemnation of mothers or the institution of motherhood in general, but this needs to be said:

My thesis is simple: A day dedicated to motherhood -- that is, the execution of what is humankind's most basic function and essential role -- is at once hateful and bad for peoplekind.

First of all, by glorifying and exalting mothers, you cause immeasurable insult and emotional damage to many groups of people, including women who want to be mothers but can't, women that have lost their children, and motherless children. Think of the orphans, the barren and the mothers of our troops that died in valiant combat. You monsters! How can you be so cruel?

Second of all, by treating motherhood as something exceptional and worthy of celebration, instead of the baseline minimum of what we should expect of female parents in order to maintain our civilization (and, in fact, race), we are essentially arguing that it is tacitly acceptable to abandon one's maternal responsibilities. I mean, when we celebrate "President's Day" or "Veteran's Day" or throw a parade for the winners of the World Series, we acknowledge that Presidents or vets or World Series champs are people that have accomplished exceptional things, greater than the norm. Nobody thinks it's wrong or bad to not be a President or on last year's Phillies team. We should condemn a lack of proper mothering, not celebrate its routine execution. Should we have a "People That Bathe Day" for people that observe rules of proper hygiene? Perhaps we could have "Non-Rapist's Week", a seven-day celebration to recognize those that choose not to commit sexual assault. There could be street fairs, and balloons, and clowns.

Third, and finally, Mother's Day is an inherently bigoted institution, since it exalts one segment of the population -- mothers in specific and women in general -- over all non-mothers, and by extension, all men.

I know what you're going to say -- "But Yagathai," you bleat vapidly, "there's Father's Day for men." It's true, there is -- but since when has "separate but equal" been acceptable doctrine in our modern enlightened society? What's next, a return to whites-only drinking fountains? As a non-white non-mother, I'm offended at the viciously bigoted assumptions that inform your viewpoint! Apartheid is wrong, arbitrary bigotry is wrong, and the glorification of mothers over fathers is essentially the same as glorifying any other majority group at the expense of a minority -- there are more post-adolescent women than men, after all.

You might as well have a "White Power" day. It would be no more or less morally repugnant -- or perhaps even slightly less so, since any such day would at least be honest about its hateful purpose, instead of something wrapped in a saccharine Hallmark candy coating, chocolate-chip-cookie-scented oppression wrapped in a flower-print apron.

Comments

[lostreality.livejournal.com]

not to mention those of us who have been disowned by our mothers for crazy religious reasons!

[pinkhairedcyn.livejournal.com]

I take umbrage at your assumption of motherhood as a social obligation, sir.

[thelastmehina.livejournal.com]

I think he meant that it's a social obligation amongst the segment of women who have chosen to have children. Which is a sentiment I can get behind - you spawned it, you take care of it. Either gender.

[thelastmehina.livejournal.com]

I'm going to venture forth this counter:

Mothers work very hard raising their children, and are often poorly thanked, if they are thanked at all. No one who hasn't participated in raising a small child can really understand how dedicated one has to be, especially when one is also juggling other social & career obligations.

Mother's Day is our opportunity to realize that, yes, good mothers do work hard, and to recognize them for all their love and devotion.

[thelastmehina.livejournal.com]

Dammit!

You were being satirical, weren't you?

[yagathai.livejournal.com]

Er... no?

Yes.

[yagathai.livejournal.com]

GOTCHA! ;D

[muridae.livejournal.com]

Whatever, as long as I still get chocolate and cute cards.

[muridae.livejournal.com]

Fuck tha orphans! Gimme candy!

[yagathai.livejournal.com]

Math is hard. Let's go shopping! =D

[misunderstruck.livejournal.com]

Math is delicious. Let's go drinking!

[dear-amaranth.livejournal.com]

I love that you're getting bites with this one.

[yagathai.livejournal.com]

More on the board than here, but yeah. It's one of my more obvious pieces, and yet here we are.

[harrytheheir.livejournal.com]

I'm always shocked when people on the board miss the point of something.

[grumpymonkey.livejournal.com]

I was about to be really nasty in response, until I realized your psycho-babble sounded suspicious... and too much like Michael Moore-grade lunatic debate to warrant response.

Well played.

[yagathai.livejournal.com]

I do my best. ;)

[xraytheenforcer.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha.

I think we should have a White Power Mothers Day Unicorn tattoo.

[jonsiron.livejournal.com]

A) When I give birth to my first child, it will be exceptional...sadly I won't be the first he-mom.

B) Isn't every day White Power day?